Most married couples do not split amicably but have negative feelings such as hostility and resentment toward each other. Often, the cause of the divorce, such as infidelity or addiction, is what makes this life event so emotionally intense and contentious. The things that happened may cause you not only to want to avoid your ex but also want your kids to avoid being with him or her.
As much as you do not want to share your kids equally with your ex, studies show that this arrangement is the most beneficial to children, reports Psychology Today. Once you understand how it helps mitigate the side effects of your family splitting up, you may be more willing to agree to this parenting schedule.
The importance of quantity time
Having a quality relationship with each parent is essential to the emotional well-being of your children. Although an increase in time does not automatically guarantee a healthy attachment bond, it does make it easier. Your children cannot connect with someone they hardly see.
The same goes for you and your ex. Having equal time allows both of you to connect with your children and without one of you carrying all the responsibility for care. This balance, in turn, helps you to be happier and healthier, helping you to be a better parent and positively affecting your children. Also, this custody arrangement reduces the amount of parental conflict, also contributing to a healthier environment for all involved, especially the kids.
When your ex is not safe
What if your ex is not safe due to severe mental health issues, dangerous behaviors or abuse? In these cases, equal parenting may not be the best solution. You will have to prove to the court it is not in your children's best interest to be with the other parent. However, only in rare cases will your ex lose all visitation rights.